


Why don't you stay at mine tonight

by cherryvanilla



Category: British Actor RPF, British Comedy RPF, Social Network (2010) RPF
Genre: 5 Times, 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe, Humor, London, M/M, Meet-Cute, Neighbors, Romance, Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:48:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28925331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryvanilla/pseuds/cherryvanilla
Summary: Two days later and it’s as if the fates are shining down upon him. Or torturing him. Why else would Andrew be doing a walk of shame at 2am only to see The Guy coming from the opposite direction and heading straight for him.(Or, five(ish) times they act out tropes plus one time they’re cliche all on their own.)
Relationships: Andrew Garfield/Simon Amstell
Kudos: 10





	Why don't you stay at mine tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to princewardo for beta <333 Title from Walk the Moon. Andrew/Simon through the years [picspam](https://nextstopwonderland.tumblr.com/post/634904201289449472/andrew-garfield-simon-amstell-circa-2012). 
> 
> Graphic: 
> 
> All tropes quoted within taken from those au prompt posts on tumblr.

___________________________________

1\. _We met when I helped you move into your apartment, only you don’t remember that so now I’ve got to find the courage to introduce myself again._

The first time Andrew “meets” him is on a rainy afternoon in Hampstead Heath as he’s walking back to his flat. He appears to have just moved in and is attempting to get a wooden desk up the steps of the building next to Andrew‘s. It is quickly unbalancing. Andrew hurries forward and grabs the lower end that’s about to tip. 

“Here, let me.”

The guy lifts his head. His curls are damp across his brow, his lips pink and full; Andrew gets a little lost in the dark eyes behind his glasses.

_Oh._

“Erm, cheers.” The guy looks a bit startled. He doesn’t smile back at Andrew’s wide grin, but he allows him to help him get the desk into the lift. There isn’t room for both of them. 

“I can manage from here out, it’s just the next floor. Thanks. Really.”

“Of course, my pleasure.” They stand awkwardly, Andrew outside the lift and the guy still holding the doors open. 

Andrew’s forgotten he has a name much less that he should divulge it and so he just says, “Ta, mate,” with a little wave as the doors close between them. 

“Andrew, I’m Andrew,” he berates himself under his breath on the short walk back to his own flat. 

So yeah, it can’t really be considered a meeting. More like a seeing.  


___________________________________

2&3\. _our flats are opposite each other and your kitchen window faces my kitchen so we always see each other making coffee at 3am_ (x 2) 

The next time Andrew sees him isn’t until a few months later, because life is weird and you’d be surprised how little you run into your own neighbours. 

Andrew got in from a long shoot an hour ago and can’t sleep. This happens a lot and he has a terrible habit of getting up to make coffee, because if he’s going to be awake he might as well commit. He forgot to close the roller blind, so when he looks up blearily after starting the kettle it’s directly out of the window in front of him and into the flat across the way. Where The Guy, Desk Guy, is also putting the kettle on. 

Andrew’s eyes go wide. He doesn’t have a chance to pretend he isn’t staring before the guy looks up and their gazes lock. Andrew is overly aware that he’s not wearing a shirt and only has a pair of grey boxers on. The guy is wearing a white t-shirt; the bench blocks the rest of him. 

Andrew smiles at him lopsidedly and raises his mug. The guy just blinks at him before raising his own, then turning it to show it’s still empty. Andrew laughs and does the same. 

They stand there, going through the motions of coffee making all while stealing glances at each other. When he’s got no real excuse to keep standing there Andrew waves with his free hand and the guy does the same. 

He finally falls asleep to thoughts of loose curls and bare forearms. 

(Andrew won’t confirm or deny whether he deliberately leaves the roller blind up over the next week.) 

That action, deliberate or not, pays off when after another late shoot he finds himself once again making coffee at around 3am. And once again sees The Guy. This time they’re both shirtless and Andrew can’t help but glance at his chest, the smatterings of hair, the pink nipples. 

(He desperately needs a shag.) 

They once again do pantomime while making coffee. Andrew can’t seem to get up the courage to open his window and start chatting, and it’s not just because it’s 3am and the neighbours will undoubtedly fuss. 

The guy smiles properly at him when they wave goodnight this time. 

Andrew tosses and turns before finally giving in and jacking off, picturing dark eyes and a soft, shy smile. 

He’s absolutely going out at the weekend.  


___________________________________

4\. _We live in the same block of flats but haven’t ever talked and Sunday morning we were both doing the walk of shame ~~and had to stand in the lift together~~_

Two days later and it’s as if the fates are shining down upon him. Or torturing him. Why else would Andrew be doing a walk of shame at 2am only to see The Guy coming from the opposite direction and heading straight for him. His hair is a little mussed and his lips puffy. It’s obvious he’s doing his own Walk, and Andrew is irrationally jealous of whoever got to kiss those lips. 

They come to a pause nearly in front of Andrew’s flat. The guy’s eyes widen as he finally looks up and sees Andrew. 

“Hello!”

“Erm. Hi.”

Andrew suddenly wonders if he remembers their first non-meeting in the rain, or if to him Andrew is just the nameless, shirtless guy he sees through a window. 

He can’t bring himself to mention it lest the guy really not remember so he just says, “We seem to have a habit of late night encounters.”

“Or early morning.”

Andrew barks out a laugh, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. 

“Or that. Good night?”

He cringes even as the words leave his lips. He might’ve well have asked ‘how was the sex, one to ten’. 

The guy smirks. “House party, my mate’s insistence. Ended up snogging in a bedroom like I was in sixth form.”

Andrew blinks. He’d expected from their (brief) interactions, more shyness. The directness, while a surprise, was not at all unwelcome. 

“Sounds more fun than the sweaty club I pulled at.” If they were being forthright in their hookups, he might as well. “I’m Andrew.”

He extends his hand and it’s grasped after a brief hesitation. 

“Simon. It’s nice to put a name to your face and chest.”

Andrew laughs again. “Um, likewise.”

They unclasp hands, Andrew’s palm tingling. 

“Well,” says Simon. “I suppose I should hurry to my kitchen; wouldn’t want to miss our 3am coffee date.”

The word date emboldens him. “Or you could come up to mine? I could make you a cup and eliminate the window gazing?” 

“I drink lattes.”

“Fancy,” Andrew grins. 

“Soy ones. I’m vegan.”

Andrew frowns, mentally running through his cupboard. “I have, erm, almond milk? Is that vegan?”

Simon’s lips twitch. “Almonds are not alive, so yes.”

“You’ll come up then?” 

Simon chews his lip. “Oh, alright.”

Andrew beams. 

Simon is sat at his kitchen island while Andrew puts the kettle on. They shoot looks at each other and it doesn’t feel much different than when they do this across the way.

“So why are often drinking lattes at 3am?”

“I’m a comedian. I get home late, so oftentimes I’m just getting in or I just can’t sleep. You?”

“Actor. And well, model, when acting is sparse. On a shoot now, though, lots of late nights or early mornings as you say. I’ve never met a comedian in real life, should I fear a roasting?” 

Simon laughs quietly. Andrew likes the sound. “I’ll go easy on you.”

“Much obliged.” 

They prepare the coffee side by side, Simon showing Andrew just how he likes his. They talk about their neighbors and their professions. Andrew laughs a ton and Simon— someone who makes people laugh for a living— always seems pleasantly surprised when he does; his eyes light up in a way that Andrew can’t linger on and still maintain his sanity. 

“You’re distressingly attractive,” Simon blurts out, apropos of nothing. 

Andrew had been washing out the mugs, sleeves of his flannel rolled up. He turned to face Simon again, eyes widening at his words; it’s a good thing he didn’t have one of the mugs still in his hand or it’d be broken all over Simon’s shoes. 

“Shite, I just really said that, yeah? Sorry, sometimes my brain to mouth filter fails to exist. Comedian hazard.” 

Andrew manages to get his own brain to mouth synapses working. “I’ve never been called attractive with that particular qualifier before.”

“Well, it’s true. Also, hello. I’m gay.”

Andrew giggles. “Um, hello.” 

Simon nods. “Right, and now that I’ve confessed these things while standing in your kitchen at 3am I’ll see myself out.”

“I’m bisexual. Maybe pansexual is more accurate, I’m not sure, honestly. And I find you adorably attractive, so now we’re even.”

Simon stops in his tracks and blinks. “Okay. Should we, erm, hug? Queer solidarity?”

Andrew giggles again. “Yes, let’s.”

Andrew steps up to him. He’s got about an inch in height on Simon and it feels all too right when he pulls Simon in, fitting his face against his neck while Simon does the same. 

They embrace for long seconds. Simon smells good and he feels wiry and almost breakable in Andrew’s arms. “It’s terribly gauche to want to kiss you after I just had a one night stand,” Andrew confesses. “But I do.”

It’s better than saying, _you’re the reason I felt the need to go out and get laid when one-nighters aren't totally my thing_.

Simon stutters out a shaky laugh. “I’d probably let you, because I have no willpower or self preservation.”

Andrew hums. “Let’s not then. Let’s bid each other goodnight and enjoy the sexual tension.”

Simon groans, but pulls away. He eyes Andrew before shaking his head. “Distressingly attractive.”

Andrew grins and walks him to the door. 

“Go out with me tomorrow?” He calls as Simon is halfway down the hall. 

“Yes!”

___________________________________

5\. _Please do something about your cat it keeps breaking into my apartment via the windows and I don’t know how. ~~Plus it knows how to open the fridge~~_

There’s a cat that’s nearly made it into Andrew’s window. It’s been clawing at the screen and is cleverly halfway inside when Andrew catches it. 

It’s Simon’s cat and Andrew has to take some Benadryl before he can handle him. 

They’ve gone on two dates. After the second one they’d wound up at Simon’s flat for about thirty seconds until the cat was discovered and Andrew had to depart for his own flat where he could take medicine. Simon joined him and they made out on Andrew’s sofa, slightly desperate, grinding against each other and coming in their pants like teenagers.

Andrew never learnt the cat’s name and he feels bad about that. 

Their third date is tonight. 

Andrew brings the cat inside in an effort to gauge just how terrible his allergies really are after having taken medicine. They’re pretty okay. Some slight eye irritation (which probably downgrades him from distressingly attractive) but nothing too terrible. 

He refuses to examine just why he might be testing this theory out and instead texts Simon. 

_I have something that belongs to you._

The reply is instant. 

_If this is innuendo I must confess I am shocked and appalled. But also send nudes._

Andrew laughs so hard he scares the cat, then takes its photo and sends. 

_Oh. I was not expecting pussy._

Andrew buries his face in the couch cushions, giggling like mad. He’s laughed more in these past ten days with Simon than in the last two months. 

His phone buzzes again.

 _Are you alright? You should put Doc Brown back outside, he’s a survivor and you need to breathe._

Andrew holds back a marriage proposal at having learnt the cat is named for a character in his favorite movie, but only barely. 

_We’re both doing well and can’t wait to see you._

Andrew hopes that’s not too forward. It’s so much less than he wants to say. 

Simon sends back, _I shouldn’t miss you but I might do_ , so perhaps they’re both feeling a lot.  


___________________________________

Bonus. _Imagine your OTP lying next to each other in bed, staring at the ceiling, embarrassed and slightly alarmed by the wild, intense, filthy sex they just had._

Doc Brown is safely deposited back at home before they leave on their date. Andrew’s lips are still tingling from the “thank you, you’re brilliant” kiss Simon bestowed on him in the doorway. 

It’s Andrew’s turn to pick the place. He chooses a vegan restaurant that he researched quite thoroughly. Simon seems content. After is the cinema for a film that they make out at for most of, as opposed to watching. Simon’s lips are salty from his butter-free popcorn and Andrew can’t stop licking away the taste. 

They make out on the bus back too, holding hands as they do. It’d be almost innocent if Andrew weren’t getting hard in his jeans. 

“Come up?” He breathes when they’re standing on Andrew’s front steps, pressed together from shoulder to hip. He can feel Simon’s half-hard cock against his thigh. 

“As long as it’s for sex and not coffee.”

Andrew giggles against his lips. “Yes, absolutely.”

Andrew’s keys are still in the door as they kiss up against it. Their clothes and shoes lead a trail to his bedroom, until they’re naked and falling onto his mattress. 

Simon groans, his hands cupping Andrew’s arse and squeezing. 

Andrew moans and kisses down his neck and along his chest. Simon moans loudly when Andrew bites at his nipple. 

They rock together, making out leisurely before it becomes insistent again. His glasses clink against Andrew’s nose as they kiss. “Wait.” He takes them off, throws them on the bedside table before kissing Andrew again, deeper, harder. 

Andrew breaks away a few moments later. “I want,” Andrew says, looking down at Simon’s dick and then his own. 

Simon appears to get it. “Yes.”

They 69 and it’s almost too much; Simon’s full lips around his cock while Andrew sucks him in deep. Simon’s hands don’t leave his arse, and soon he’s teasing one fingertip over his hole. 

Andrew breaks away, panting against his thigh. “Yeah?”

Simon pulls off with a loud plop. “Do you?

“Yes.” 

Andrew gives the head of his dick one final kiss and clambers onto his knees, reaching over for the supplies. 

Simon’s eying him with something akin to wonder when Andrew rights himself, straddling his thighs.

“What?”

Simon shakes his head. “Most guys are surprised I want to top. Say I look like a bottom.”

“Well that’s moronic.” Andrew tips forward, catching Simon’s lips in a short kiss. “And I can’t wait for you to fuck me.”

Simon groans, eyes falling shut. “You act like the girl next door but you’re really a femme fatale, aren’t you?”

Andrew laughs, reaching back with one slicked up finger to open himself up. “I’ll never tell.”

Simon helps him, working a second finger in alongside Andrew’s. It’s incredibly sexy and already feels more intimate than any sex that Andrew’s had in ages. 

“Enough, enough,” Andrew pants, stilling Simon with a touch to the wrist. “I want to ride you. Can I?”

“In no universe would I possibly object to that.”

Andrew laughs shakily. “Glad to hear it.”

When he’s finally rolled the condom on and is in position, Simon grabs hold of one of his hips, squeezing gently. Andrew shudders and sinks down, slow, so slow. 

“Oh, god.” Simon breathes. “Oh, fucking fuck, _Andrew_.

Andrew chokes on a laugh, exhaling hard when he bottoms out. “Wait, just. One sec.”

He sways forward, Simon meeting him there, their lips sliding together slick and perfect. They breathe in each other’s air, eyes locking. It’s almost too much.

“Okay,” Andrew whispers as Simon’s hands tighten on his hips, kissing his open mouth. “M’good.” 

He begins to move into Simon’s touch, then back away. He goes slow at first, finding the rhythm, the push and pull. He tries to learn just how their bodies move together, gives himself into the sensations. 

Simon’s breathing hard against his cheek as Andrew starts picking up the pace, bouncing on Simon’s cock with abandon, hitting just the right spot on every thrust downward. 

Andrew’s moaning loud, Simon gasping in time with every sound and move he makes. The bed is thumping against the wall with every downstroke and Andrew wouldn’t be surprised if the neighbors starting banging back. 

“Fuck, oh my god, you…” Simon moans, brokenly, before sitting up so they’re chest to chest. His thighs bracket Andrew’s hips and they kiss hotly, swallowing each other’s moans. 

“You feel incredible,” Andrew pants, tugging Simon’s lower lips between his teeth. Sweat is dripping off his brow and his calves are tensing. He wants it to last forever, but he knows they’re hurling toward the finish line and no willpower in the world could get him to slow it down. 

Simon fists Andrew’s cock, his hand making obscene sounds as he smears pre-come down his length, his hand big and perfect. Andrew clenches around him, letting out a low whine as he comes, gasping Simon’s name. 

Simon lets go of his dick and falls backward, pulling Andrew down to his lips. He scratches his nails up and down Andrew’s back while Andrew tumbles against his chest, gasping for breath as he rides his cock. 

“C’mon, c’mon, babe.”

Simon lets out a long, low groan, and does. Andrew is motionless against his chest, his thighs aching and body shaking with aftershocks. 

After an eternity but most likely a few seconds, he musters up enough energy to roll off Simon and onto his back. Andrew stares unblinking up at the ceiling, his eyes wide and his chest heaving. He vaguely hears Simon strip off the condom and toss it in the bin. 

“Wow.” 

Simon grunts next to him, their shoulders brushing. 

Andrew sneaks a glance. Simon’s chest is flushed, his curls are matted across his forehead and along the side of his face, and his nose is running slightly. Andrew is ridiculously attracted to him. 

“Just. _Wow_.”

Simon laughs. Andrew tilts his head toward him and Simon does the same. “Yeah. That. You’re uh, quite good at that.”

Andrew hides his smile against Simon’s shoulder. “I had some help.”

Simon hums noncommittally. 

Andrew kisses his shoulder a few times before curling in toward him and wrapping a tentative arm around his waist. “Stay?” He asks quietly. 

“Oh.” Simon’s eyes are wide when he looks up at him through his lashes. “I, erm, assumed you wouldn’t want that. What with the walk of shame and all.”

Andrew shakes his head. “I pretty much always want this,” he says, shuffling closer. “Oops?”

“Not oops.”

Andrew smiles. “No? You actually like to cuddle?” He wants to add ‘with me’ because yes, they’re dating but are they boyfriends? Andrew isn’t sure. 

He really wants to be sure. 

Simon huffs. “I’m kind of a nightmare when I sleep. And when I’m not sleeping. I’m a hot mess, you’ve been warned.”

“Mmm.” Something about Simon’s vulnerability makes him want to be brave. “Alright. Be my boyfriend?” He says it to Simon’s chest so, alright, perhaps not _that_ brave. 

Simon kisses his temple. “You’re going to regret asking me that, but I’m selfish and saying yes anyway.” 

Andrew raises his head and leans in for a long, slow kiss. He doubts that very much.  


___________________________________

+1 

_Twelve Months Later_

“Is this the last of it?” 

“Aside from the cat, yes.”

The nice thing about moving in your boyfriend who only lived a few hundred feet away to begin with is not having to deal with movers and rentals and all that stress. 

They get Simon’s writing desk down the steps and over to the bottom of Andrew’s. He flashes back to the first time he ever saw Simon. 

“Hey, do you remember when I first helped you with this desk?” 

Simon squints at him. “Of course I do. It was pissing down; you came to my rescue like something out of a Jane Austen novel.”

Andrew’s mouth drops open. “You remember? You never said!”

Simon rolls his eyes, but fondly. So fond. “Because I was proper drooling and hoped you’d think it was the rainwater.”

Andrew laughs and drinks in Simon’s face, his body, everything. He’s so damn happy. 

“I wish I’d introduced myself then,” Andrew confesses. 

Simon raises an eyebrow. “Because if you had done, we’d be moving in together. Oh, wait.”

Andrew bats at Simon’s arm. “Hush up, you. I just wish I had, alright? I’m being romantic.” 

Simon huffs. “Well, if you _must_.” 

“You love it,” Andrew murmurs, leaning forward over the desk to capture his mouth. 

“I love you,” Simon corrects as they part, their lips still brushing lightly. 

Andrew grins, pointing at him. “See! Romance!” 

(And they lived happily ever after.)

**Author's Note:**

> Why, yes, I do keep pairing Andrew "puppies but only because I'm allergic to kittens" Garfield with boys who have cats. The things he'll do for ~love~. 
> 
> And they do both adore Back to the Future <3
> 
> Thank you for reading. Enjoy this distressing photo: 


End file.
